There are lots of common myths about bereavement. How many of these have you encountered:
- Men Don’t Cry.
- That there is only one way to grieve.
- You HAVE to cry when grieving.
- You can grieve too much.
- You can grieve too little.
- Ignoring, blocking out or suppressing the pain will make it pass quicker
- It’s important to be “strong”.
- There is a standard time frame.
- That he/she is too young to understand death.
- That death is ” just a normal part of life”. (only really true of natural death in old age).
- That you “should be over it by now”.
- That it was “Only” a dog/cat / other pet. The loss of a pet is no less real.
- We shouldn’t mention the deceased in the conversation for fear of causing upset.
- The bereaved don’t want to talk about their loss.
- The bereaved will ask for help if they need it.
As you can see, Myths about bereavement are common and widespread. But don’t allow them to influence your grieving. Every journey is unique, there is no standardised way to grieve and no standardised time frame in which to do it. There is no scientific formula, no right or wrong. As I always say: You just have to live through it.